Happiness is a lifestyle, one that can be hard to find, and even harder to keep. But the first step down the path of finding happiness is understanding that you are in total control.
Too often we choose to dwell on the things that we cannot change. We fixate on the perfect picture that we've drawn in our minds. The perfect relationship. The perfect friends. The perfect house, car, job. When our reality doesn't live up to those dreams, we can't handle it. We become depressed, distracted, we monitor and envy the lives of others, who we believe have achieved the happiness that we long for. We focus so much on our imperfections that we waste time that could be spent planning and executing to achieve our happiness.
For a long time, this was me. Stuck in relationship after relationship desperately trying to change my partners into what I imagined they could be. Remaining friends with people who showed me their true colors time and time again just because I felt bad to let go. Constantly doubting myself and belittling my success because it didn't seem to match the success I'd dreamed of. Blocking my own happiness because I was not ready to face the reality of so many situations in my life. After hitting numerous low points I had to take a step back to evaluate everything. I needed to see things from a different perspective. It was then that I realized all the time that had passed by as I let negative thoughts and people consume me. I was overwhelmed by my new revelation: I wasn't blessed with this life to dwell on my hardships or people that didn't have my best interest. I'll never forget that feeling of realizing that I had the choice to be happy all along. And while the years seemed wasted, I felt so free in that moment of revelation. I've lived every moment since then choosing to only allow people and situations into my life that give off the same positive energy that I give. Through this I have achieved true peace and started to live the happy life I'd always imagined. I transformed my life into exactly what I wanted it to be... one filled with positivity, joy and love even in times of chaos.
The first step is to choose happiness. Once you make the choice, you must plan for it. Connect with yourself and figure out what makes you truly happy. This is difficult for some. Connecting with yourself can be extremely scary for those who have lost themselves in others or situations for long periods of time. Remember that your happiness must be found within you before you can share it with anyone else. Taking the time to get to know yourself means finding the things that stimulate your mind and warm your soul no matter who is around.
Knowing yourself on a deeper level also helps you pinpoint the things that may be hindering your happiness. Take a step back to evaluate each aspect of your life. Slowly distance yourself from any toxic relationships, people and situations. This includes anything and anyone that does not bring you positive energy, joy, consistency and peace. Learn to love some people from a distance.
Accept the fact that nothing is perfect. No relationship, no job and certainly no one you are following on social media, portraying to live their "best life." Everyone has issues that they are fighting (or not fighting) to overcome. Understanding this will help you manage your expectations.
Just because nothing is perfect, does not mean that you should accept just anything. Don't settle. Stop pressing restart on that toxic relationship. Been there, done that! Stop mistaking comfort for love. Love looks and feels like love. If you are feeling unchallenged or miserable in your career, find a new one. Life is too short to spend 8-10 hours a day in a place you hate. In order to keep that state of well-being thriving, surrounded yourself by people who want the same and things that keep you feeling positive and optimistic.
When heartbreak, tragedy, insecurity, loneliness and jealously find their way to you, look for the silver lining in every situation and accept those bad moments as lessons learned. Accept your mistakes, forgive those who have hurt you, move on, explore ways to elevate yourself and take action.
Choose happiness each and every day. It will not always be easy, but you will be happy that you chose you.
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